OMG! I'm in full freak-out mode now. Only ten days left until I start back to school, and twenty days after that I'll be back to work as well. Going back to school isn't a big deal for me; in and of itself. What scares me is that I also have to go back to work. I don't want to go back to work. I feel like throwing a temper tantrum about it, but I'm not two-years old so I don't have that luxury. I'm really angry about it. I want to be home with my son, I DO NOT want someone else raising him. In order for me to be able to stay home I would have to quit my job and go on welfare...sooooo not an option. What are my options? I could try to find work online. I've never had an office job, what am I qualified to do? I hate talking on the phone; hate it, hate it, hate it. I could try to start an online business. This is an option, but one that would take time to build to a point that I could afford to stay home. As a Business Major, I could do this. As someone working full-time, going to school full-time and caring for a child? It would be worth it in the end though, right? Then, if this is an option, what business do I start? I have a love of many things that I could do, but would any of them be lucrative enough to afford me the opportunity to give up my full medical benefits and be able to pay the rent at the same time? Actually, I may not have to give up my full medical benefits, if I work part-time (at least 20 hours a week) my company will still give me full benefits. I've worked there 8 years now and have gained a good vacation package as well. Now I'm just ranting all over the place....
I have a ton to do to get ready for the busyness my life will acquire soon. Just before Baby G was born I had gotten a lot of organizing and cleaning done, but have kept up with none of it since then and now I have a big mess to clean up.
To Do Before March 6th (when I return to school):
1. Clean and re-organize the kitchen. I would love to post a photo of what my kitchen looks like right now, just to show you the extent of the mess (I can not see an inch of counter space right now), but that would be extremely embarrassing. A clean and organized kitchen would make it so much easier to cook meals so we don't eat out so much (which we can not afford right now)., and if it's really organized cleaning would be much easier.
2. Clean and re-organize the living room. My living room looks very lived in; too lived in. Another photo that would be embarrassing.
3. Clean up my laptop in preparation for school. Aaron has been using my laptop since I've been on Maternity Leave and hogging the PC. It needs to be updated, files organized and just generally cleaned up.
4. Gather junk to sell on Ebay. I have a stack of 7 (really great) pregnancy books to get photos of and list on Ebay. I also need to go through the clothes that no longer fit Baby G and sell those as a lot (he's already wearing 3 to 6 months size), and anything else I can find around here that we don't need anymore.
5. Find and prepare a spot in the apartment for school time. I do school online so I need a study spot to set up my laptop and be able to concentrate. There really isn't any place like that in our apartment right now.
6. FIND DAY CARE!!! Still nothing, and I really can not fathom how to pay for it when there is not one extra penny to spend, and I make to much to qualify for aid.
More stress; more questions. Anybody have any good advice?