Monday, January 29, 2007

6 Weeks


Yesterday Baby G turned 6 weeks old. Thanks to the Zantac, our sleeping issues are getting better. We now just have to work on the feeding issues. It's impossible to tell a one month old that they just had 4oz. of milk and that their tummy can't hold more than that and it would make him feel so much better to just suck on the pacifier or mommy's finger. There also seems to be a "nap time" window, and if we miss it? He is up ALL DAY! I'm really looking forward to seeing if that Rebozo I ordered will help us.


When we first started collecting gear for Baby G, I did a little research on Baby wearing. I thought baby wearing was a fabulous idea; I never did that with my daughter (I hadn't seen anyone else doing it 17 years ago). Not really knowing much about it, or that babies have preferences for how they like to be held, I bought a Baby Bjorn. Baby G hates it. I have tried a few times to get him in it so he could get used to it, he just screams. Who came blame him though. Seeing him in it, it's way too confining and too tight. I really want to be able to wear him. It would not only make my life easier, but I'm sure it would be extremely comforting to Baby G. He loves being held, obviously, so I hold him all day long, until I have to put him down to make a bottle, or wash dishes, or take a picture. I've gotten good at typing with one hand (though these posts take anywhere from a half hour to an hour to type out). Anyway, I did some more research this weekend. This time I was able to take into account how I know Baby G likes to be held; what's comfortable for him. I ended up at Peppermint. They have a great explanation of the different types of carriers. I wanted something that wasn't too confining, something easy to use and versatile. I decided I wanted to try the Rebozo. A rebozo is a shawl that women in Mexico use to carry their babies; it also has dozens of other uses; from a labor aid to a beach wrap. You can see a great demonstration of how to use one here, and a whole lotta photos of people wearing them here.I ordered a traditional rebozo from and I should have it by next Monday. Once I get I'll let you know how it's working out.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Thank You Zantac!

I haven't posted much about the problems we have had with Baby G for the past month, other than the usual "When am I going to get some sleep?" "When will Baby G sleep longer than an hour?" While we were at the hospital Baby G was the perfect baby, the nurses loved him, cooed over him and told us what a perfect baby we had. I had to agree, he was so easy with everything, other than not liking anything cold. touching. his. body. ever.
Our first, or second night home ( I can't remember the dates too well) was hell. It seemed like all I did was breastfeed. I was getting absolutely no sleep (really no sleep, no exaggeration, I had 4 hours of sleep in two days) and he just cried an cried, and I cried and cried. Aaron was helpless to do anything to help me because he couldn't feed Baby G and that seemed like all Baby G wanted. After awhile it got so bad that at one point I had Baby G on one breast and Aaron pumping the other breast for me (what guy would do that for their woman?) so I could try to get some sleep and he could feed him. There was almost no milk coming out of my breast. At that point I said screw this and went on a hunt for that sample of baby formula I'd been given. I gave Baby G to Aaron and explained how to prepare a bottle and went to sleep. I don't know how much time had passed, maybe an hour, and Aaron was waking me saying that the nipple on the bottle wasn't working. I was still out of it, obviously, and didn't know that Aaron was handing me a Playtex Vent-Air bottle (whoever came up with those should be shot!) Baby G was screaming, still, and I took the bottle set it down on the bed; formula all over the bed and floor. I took the baby and tried to get him on my breast again...he wouldn't have it. I told Aaron to get an Avent bottle and start over (luckily I had a cupboard full of different bottles.)
That was how we stopped breastfeeding and went to formula. As time passed we noticed that Baby G wasn't sleeping longer than an hour at a time, and was still ferociously hungry all. the. time! Then I started noticing that while he was sleeping he was spitting up into his throat and swallowing would wake him up crying. He occasionally would projectile vomit as well (narrowly missed the computer once.) I started looking up his symptoms, the projectile vomit, the excessive spit-up, the spitting up and swallowing, the back arching screams, the not sleeping, and kept running into articles on reflux. During this time Aaron and I were taking care, and still are taking care, of Baby G in shifts so that we can each get at least some uninterrupted sleep. When your baby won't sleep for more than an hour at a time, and sometimes less, you have to do what you can to survive. It's been a rough month. Some nights Baby G was just too much for Aaron and I would get up to take over and lose more sleep. Aaron has to work, so that leaves me with the baby care for about 18 hours a day, I get about 5 hours of sleep a night, if I am lucky. Because Baby G has been only sleeping an hour at a time, naps have been impossible. This has taken a tremendous toll on my sanity. There have been some days that Baby G was up for 8 to 10 hours straight being fussy and crying, or screaming. These are the days when I feel like I am not gonna make it. After observing Baby G for another couple weeks it was time for his one month check-up, which was last week. I talked to his pediatrician about his symptoms and reflux. She agreed with me and wrote him out a prescription for Zantac. One of the things the pediatrician noted was that Baby G increased his weight, a lot, and that usually babies with reflux don't gain weight. What I have read, and from observing Baby G's eating habits, is that Baby G was using the formula to soothe the pain from the stomach acids coming up in his throat, hence the tremendous weight gain (5 lbs. in one month.)
So, Baby G has been taking Zantac since Monday and we have already noticed a change in the past two days. Last night he slept for 3 hours straight. 3 hours! In a row! Aaron and I got to actually eat dinner together, at the same time. Baby G is sleeping longer than hour more consistently, and wakes up happy fairly often. We've also been able to start him on a feeding schedule. We get to play now, tummy time is easier and he laughs a lot now. I've got the sweet, happy baby I knew was in there.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Yet Another Template Change

Yes, I did it again. I have a neurotic need for change, I guess. While I hate the Blogger templates, this works for me function wise. I have the page elements I want. I'll be playing with the colors though.


While I love my new layout and background, the functionality of my blog is kinda sucky. I may need to trash it and start over with one of the Blogger layouts. I hate, hate, hate the Blogger templates! I really should just get a new domain just for my blog, but I don't know if I can afford the added expense right now.

In other news...I haven't been feeling real great the past few days. We've been going through hell with Baby G. He's on the Zantac now, and starting to sleep better; hopefully his new sleeping patterns are a trend towards him sleeping LONGER than one hour at a time. Thanks to the medication (I think) we have been able to start him on a schedule.
On Tuesday I was up for 24 HOURS! I had been up for about 18 to 20 hours the day before and then I had about 3 or 4 hours of sleep just before the 24 hour thing and had only gotten about a 30 minute nap 3 hours into the 24 hour thing. (Does any of that makes sense?) By the end of the day Tuesday I was a wreck. I had had almost no sleep for 24 hours and for at least 12 of those hours I had to deal with a screaming baby. By the time Aaron got home from work I was a mess, my eyes were red from crying and I could barely speak. After that I got 5 hours of sleep and had to go back to baby care so Aaron could get some sleep before work. When I got up yesterday morning I started crying again, I was just so darn tired! I can totally understand why sleep deprivation is used as a means of controlling someone's mind. UGH! Luckily Baby G was an angel yesterday. He stuck to his new schedule and when he was awake he giggled and smiled and had fun. *Sigh*. Hopefully today goes just as well, because I am totally stressing over financial issues and the disorganized mess my home has become; I thought it was bad before I had a baby.
Smoking? Exercise? Hahahaha. Um, yea. I may need to see the doctor about getting back on Welbutrin.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007


Originally uploaded by ladyrhowan.
It's nice know that someone enjoys my singing.

Monday, January 22, 2007

5 Weeks

5 Weeks
Originally uploaded by ladyrhowan.
Baby G Had his one month check-up today. He got his second Hepatitis B shot and I'm sure he was cursing me under his breath after he stopped screaming.
He weighs 12 POUNDS!!! My mouth dropped when I saw the scale.
But, he's gained 2 inches in height, so he is okay in the weight department, he's in the 97th percentile. A Big, Healthy Boy.

The doctor did prescribe him Zantac for the reflux. Hopefully that will ease the pain and he'll sleep better.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

I'm almost afraid to say anything, or even believe what I just saw. Maybe the Gods (Goddesses, and whoever else is up there) will take it all back and say, "Oops! Sorry, we were just kidding!" I just took a look at my EOB's at my insurance carriers website, and all I can says is Thank you!!! and cry with relief!
We were not financially in a good place when I found out I was pregnant. We have to have both our incomes just to make it paycheck to paycheck. Baby G was unexpected. I didn't even think I could get pregnant after 17 years, a miscarriage, and medical problems. So, Baby G was a wonderful, precious gift, but financially our lives suck and bringing a baby into it, not a good idea. I have been so stressed out about finances for the past few weeks. We still aren't any better off, even after this good news, but it makes it a hell of a lot better.
Now, if we can just figure out how to afford daycare, when I just recently had to also start paying off my school loans (ouch!). Daycare really should be more affordable, not everyone has the option of having one parent staying home. For us it isn't about extra luxuries. We need one of our paychecks to just pay the rent, the other pays the rest of the bills. Where do you bleed out extra money for daycare that can cost around $1500 to $2000 a month; that's conservative in our area, and especially when you have no blood left to bleed?
Anyway, this news just made my day...I'm gonna go cry some more; darn hormones!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

I Got Myself Into This

Well, I had set the date for me to quit smoking for tomorrow, but I have only a couple cigarettes left right now and no way to get to the store. So, it looks like I am quitting today instead. I'm a little freaked out about the change in plans; I wasn't prepared, but that's me, never prepared and always doing things the hard way, hmph.

New Look

I did it! I spent a lot of time yesterday with this, so I got it done quickly today. I had given up on it yesterday because I was having some trouble with some of the elements. I decided to give it one more try...I'm glad I did. The background is one I made about 3 years ago to use elsewhere. I just need to add a couple things from my previous template and I'll be good to go.

Hair Inspiration

Check out what Aaron has been doing during his shifts with Baby G:

Digital Cole

All inspired by hair in the shower. That is a sign of a true artist...and a messy house.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Paying Attention to Coincidence

So after my two posts about quitting smoking I have had a couple of incidents that have sealed in my mind that now is the right time.

Coincidence #1: I am over at Miss Zoot's yesterday (This woman is an inspiration to me, and we have so much in common) and see a post about her struggle with quitting. I've been down that road so many times. Quitting is so hard, unless you're pregnant and puke every time you smell one. I should have stuck with that. That is the easiest quit I have ever had, but noooooooo, I like to do things the hard way I guess. So here I go again (Yes, that Whitesnake song is going through my head now...).

Coincidence #2: I finally got around to watching An Inconvenient Truth last night. Well, mostly watched between shifting the kid back and forth between Aaron and I so we could each eat dinner and watch the show. Anyway, The whole tobacco thing pops up out of nowhere. He talks about his sister's death from lung cancer. I was like, okay, what does this have to do with Global Warming? And then I went out to smoke. And then, I thought hmmm...second incident today about smoking.

I usually try to pay attention to the Universe when it throws things at me, it's hard not to when you are being hit by thrown objects. So I am gonna go with this one. I am not looking forward to the next week, but I have an arsenal and some determination. I'll probably post a whole bunch too, so be warned....

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


Okay, after much thought - I do actually have some time to think, even though my thoughts are marred by sleep deprivation - I have come up with a few goals I would like to achieve before I have to go back to work at the end of March. News Years has passed, and I am not one to make resolutions, so I have some "goals" instead.

1. Quit smoking (again): This is the BIG ONE. I have only been smoking for a couple weeks and I have a good amount of experience with success recently with this one. I had also quit about 2 years ago for 9 months; then started again, smoked for another 9 months, got pregnant, quit for 8 months; have now smoked for two weeks. The major thing will be getting through the withdrawals for one week. I also have a great incentive this time:
I have set a date for January 21st.

2. Start exercising again. This will help with #1. I'm thinking I will break out my old copy of Yourself!Fitness. I did enjoy using it; I just got lazy. I might also get me a copy of Dance Dance Revolution. I am a gaming geek so these should give me a chance to start using my PS2 again and have some fun. (Aaron bought me a copy of Final Fantasy XII, but I have no time to play *cry*)

3. Take up knitting again. I haven't knitted in forever. I have tons and tons of yarn taking up space around here. I also never got past knitting scarves. I'd like to learn how to knit other things.

There are other goals I should set as well, like starting to eating better, but I'd like to get a handle on the non-smoking and exercising first then the diet change can happen.
Obviously I'll be updating my progress here. Hopefully this will keep me in check.

On another note, I need a new title for my blog. Yes, I know, and have known, that my title sucks. When I first started this blog my brain went dead and I could not come up with anything creative. Since then I have just been lazy about coming up with something new. I've been on the net as LadyRhowan for almost 8 years now here. I haven't done much updating to that site in about 3 years, and it shows. I miss working on it and I really miss making graphics, but I feel so far behind in my skill set now....Anyway, so ya, I need to get my creative side back.

Lots of work to do.

More Month One Pictures

Have you noticed how almost all of Baby G's photos are of him in his bouncy? That's because it's the only time I have my hands free to take a pic. I'll have to start taking tummy time pics soon.

Obviously, We Are Not Starving Him. Month One.

Originally uploaded by ladyrhowan.
Baby G is one month old today.
The past month has been a whirlwind of sleep deprivation, gas, spit-up, smiles, cuteness, and happiness.
Despite the reflux, he is eating like a crazy kid. I am interested to see how much weight he has gained. I'll find out next Monday.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Sometimes I'm Not So Smart

On April 21st 2006 I found out I was pregnant. On April 30th 2006 I smoked my last cigarette.
I quit because I had to; it was what was best for the health of my baby. I didn't really want to quit, and honestly, I felt resentful of the fact that I had to (addict logic, heh). So, I spent my entire pregnancy looking forward to the day I could light up again. I missed my venti, quad caramel machiatto and cigarette on my breaks at work and the relaxing smoke outside on my balcony. After housecleaning, an ice tea and a smoke. Nothing so nice as a cup of coco and a cigarette out on the balcony before bed. I also worried about my wieght. I gained 60lbs. with this pregnancy; weight I would not have gained if I had not quit smoking. I wondered how I would ever get back into my size 8 and 10 pants again. I obsessed over this for months. So when after I brought Baby G home and the breastfeeding didn't work out, at the first opportunity I had, I bought some smokes, and smoked them, and then smoked some more. Now, two weeks later, I totally regret my decision to start smoking again. What the hell was I thinking? I'm not enjoying anything about it. I have to wait for the opportunity to have one, and then find something to cover up with, either a sweater or jacket, so that I don't have smoke residue on my clothing. (Smoking outside isn't an issue for me because I have done it for the past 10 years.) After I smoke I have to go wash my hands and face and then put lotion on because my skin is so dry from the constant washing. I end up making Aaron wait to go to sleep after he has watched Baby G while I sleep so I can have my coffee and cigarette before he leaves me with the baby. No fun for anyone. Lets not even get in to the financial aspects of smoking when I can't afford it....There are so many other issues and problems this brings up for me. Day care options (I'm considering Nanny share care), playgroups, just being social, in California, with other parents. Being in California in general is no fun for a smoker anyway. So after two weeks of smoking I feel the need to quit, but this time it's because I want to, kind of.
The nicotine withdrawal is the easy part of quitting, that's what I don't get about the quit smoking aids with nicotine in them, none of which have ever worked for me. In about a week the nicotine is out of your system, you're done; after that it's all psychological, but that is the hard part, at least for me.
So in posting this, I'm hoping to hold myself accountable. I want something out there to remind me of what I was thinking about this morning....Now I have to go have a cigarette while I can......

Sunday, January 14, 2007

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Would the Soundtrack Be?

I've had about 3 hours of sleep in the past ... I have lost track of time..I guess 20 hours. I'm a little sleep deprived? I'm up for something fun to do to keep me going. When Aaron gets home later tonight, I'll be able to sleep. I'm hoping to get some naps in today....
Anyway, I was viewing my stats this morning and ran across this interesting meme on a blog that was listed in my stats. I have no idea where the original meme came from. I'm using my Dell DJ.

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

1. Opening Credits: Jump - Van Halen (for some reason Van Halen ALWAYS plays first on my DJ when I Play All Tracks)

2. Waking Up: Purple Rain - Prince (LMAO)

3. First Day At School: Teddy Boy - The Beatles

4. Falling In Love: Following - The Bangles

5. Fight Song: Where'd You Go - Destiny's Child (huh?)

6. Breaking Up: If You Want - Depeche Mode

7. Prom: Suspended In Time - ELO (Olivia Newton-John)

8. Life: Rebel Yell - Billy Idol (Yes!)

9. Mental Breakdown: God Only Knows - The Beach Boys

10. Driving: Say It Isn't So - Hall & Oats

11. Flashback: Op 23: No 13, Act 4 Prelude - Morning - Peer Gynt

12. Getting Back Together: Desperate But Not Serious - Adam Ant (too good!)

13. Losing Your Virginity: You're the Inspiration - Chicago

14. Wedding: You've Got Her in Your Pocket - The White Stripes

15. Birth of a Child: Panic in Detroit - David Bowie (LOL)

16. Final Battle: Rockaway Beach - The Ramones (Right on!)

17. Funeral Song: I'm Not Down - The Clash (Another Right on!)

18. End Credits: Puppets - Depeche Mode

That was fun...I'll have to make a playlist of this over at

Pimpzilla Browsing

Pimpzilla Browsing
Originally uploaded by ladyrhowan.
I'm now browsing in style! Check out this cool Theme for Firefox from

In other news:

Baby G is smiling! I got a great big smile this morning when he woke up. As soon as he saw me, he smiled. I melted....
Also, he has a knarly case of baby acne, ugh. It's a good thing he won't remember it, and doesn't need to worry about girls just yet.

Edited to add: This is my 100th post!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Sleep; yes again.

This week my goal is to get as much sleep as possible while Baby G sleeps. This has been an impossibility from the time we brought him home. He won't sleep longer than an hour and spends most of that hour either grunting trying to get out the gas or poop, or "talking"; he sighs, moans, groans, laughs, and babbles. I never know if he is awake or still asleep. Aaron and I have been taking shifts with him. He'll take over so I can get a good chunk of sleep, usually about 6 hours, and I take over so he can then get his 8 hours. He started back to work last week and on Sunday my daughter went back home. Aaron is working until next Tuesday, and...he is sick. He is horribly sick. I am not sure if it is the flu or a cold yet, but he sounds, and looks horrible. I just got up after having tried to sleep for 4 hours. 4 hours spent getting up twice to let the cat either into or out of the room, 4 hours listening to Baby G cry (while Aaron tries to sooth him)because I am tired of getting up for the cat so I must leave the door open. When was the last time I got some sleep? Yesterday morning for two hours. I almost got in a nap yesterday, but 10 minutes after I laid down, Baby G decided it was a great time for his "awake" time. His awake time lasts anywhere from 2 to 4 hours. He is asleep right now, but I just drank some coffee so I could wake-up. So, I'll let you know if I accomplish my goal....

Wednesday, January 10, 2007


I've turned off comment moderation. It's a comment free for all now. If I start getting comment spam again, I'll turn moderation back on, but for now, feel free to comment away. :)

The Cuteness is Killing Me

Originally uploaded by ladyrhowan.
When he isn't screaming in pain from the gas, I could just sit and stare at him all day.

Monday, January 08, 2007


Of course My Planet isn't even a planet anymore! Heh.
You Are From Pluto

You are a dark, mysterious soul, full of magic and the secrets of the universe.
You can get the scoop on anything, but you keep your own secrets locked in your heart.
You love change and you use it to your advantage, whether by choice or chance.
You don't like to compromise, to the point of being self-destructive with your stubborness.
Live life with love, and your deep powers will open the world to you.

Music Soothes the Savage Beast

My savior this past week has been the Lights Out station at Finetune. Baby G loves the songs, and for me it's calming as well.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

I'm too tired to come up with a title :P

Originally uploaded by ladyrhowan.
For a couple days this week I was able to get 7 hours of sleep. 7 hours in a row, all at once, for two days! Today I am back to not being able to nap and no prospect of getting any sleep anytime soon. I have never been a nap person and I'm not having any luck trying to nap now. I just cannot function when I first get takes forever for me to wake-up, which does Baby G no good and doesn't do me much good when I have to try and clam his screaming cause I am just not fast enough to attend to him. Though not getting any sleep isn't doing us a bit of good either. He sleeps for an hour at a time, usually. Sometimes it's only 20 to 30 minutes. I spend my time between feedings playing Finaly Fantasy XII.
Anyway, this picture shows my creativity in keeping him occupied while I get his bottle or get myself some food, and he just won't sleep. I printed some geometric pictures from and used them to replace the toys on his bouncer. He is much more interested in these at this time, and I can replace the toys when he is ready for them. For now, this is working great.
We are also having problems with his extreme gassiness. His new nickname is Farty McBarty (it rhymes). The poor thing is in so much pain sometimes. The first two weeks of sleeping constantly are now over and we have awake time for about 4 to 6 hours a day. Tomorrow he is 3 weeks old.
He's out right now so I need to go eat while I can. I'll post more when I can.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Who Needs Sleep?

Who Needs Sleep
Originally uploaded by ladyrhowan.
Aaron is back at work and Baby G is sleeping unpredictably. 10 minute naps aren't quite doing it for me.