Saturday, May 19, 2007

Blessed Quietness

I'm just home from work, Baby G is at Grandma's, Aaron is at work. I'm at my laptop doing homework (technically I'm posting here and not doing homework, but Word is open and I have an outline for my paper written), the apartment is wonderfully quiet! Ahhhhhh! That was a happy sigh. I have been so stressed out trying to juggle everything. 40 hours a week at work that are all over the place - 7 to 330pm one day 11 to 730pm another day and 230 to 11pm on another day and it's different from day to day and week to week (I so need a 9 to 5 job), a baby (need I say more), school (ditto), and a fiance that needs some attention sometimes. I feel pulled all over the place with no time for myself. Hobbies? What are those? Aaron and I have our work schedules set up so that there is a very small amount of time that we need care for Baby G and so that we are working on the days that we can get care for him. This means that we are working opposite shifts and have opposite days off. We have pretty much no time together, which is not great for a relationship, especially one where there are new roles that need to be established after bringing another person into the relationship who needs all of our attention. I'm trying to hang in there with school because I am so close to being done. I have less than 30 credits left, some of those will be wiped out with some exams, and then I will finally have my bachelors degree. I don't want to give up on that. I need to prove to myself and others who think I can't do it,or am not worth it, that I am worth it and can do it. I'll be the first person in my immediate family to get a degree higher than an AA. It's taken a long time for me to figure out that I am worth the good stuff in life. If I can just hang in there for the rest of this year, I will have some free time again. I will have free time, I will have free time, I will have free time.
Anyway, I'm so happy to have this quiet time right now....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Don't give up now, girl, you're almost there!!! Now stop goofin' off and get that paper done!

All the best;