What's a mental breakdown like?

Well, let me tell you...

The past couple weeks have been rough. I got that promotion, which is great, but I took a major step outside my comfort zone, being that I suffer from horrible panic attacks and social anxiety. Now I am out of my cave and working with...gasp...the general public. It has been a trying time learning new skills and testing my strength. My daughter is still here. I love her to pieces, but she is definitely a teenager and has tested me to the point of exasperation. Now, as we have finally found our peace with eachother, she will be leaving in two weeks. Add to this SCHOOL, and the daily grind and seeing family you miss with every fiber in your being and you have a recipe for total meltdown, or two days where you start crying for no reason and can't stop, while having to work and yadayada. After 9 months smoke free I started smoking again, and I am totally back to where I left off...half a pack a day. The last couple days have been pretty good, since I started smoking! UGH! Well, I have to get ready for work now. I don't know when I will get a free moment to post again, so I'll be back when I can.

I'm still alive

I have had absolutely no personal time this month, hence no blog posts, until right now. I've been spending lots of time with my daughter, going through my new job hell at work, and I am exhausted! School starts up again for me the week after next. I'm feeling really tired and rather depressed right now, I just want to sleep all the time.

AAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Where did my vacation go?! I actually need one now. Actually we had a lot of fun showing my daughter the Bay Area. It has been crazy busy though. We have been out doing something almost everyday and the day we didn't go out I was sick, and still am. I have not had sleep in three nights due to coughing, and nothing is helping it. Now it's back to the regular schedule of work. My class ended on Monday and I am taking a month off so I don't have to be busy the whole time my daughter is here. It will be nice to have the free time before and after work. I have to get ready to go to work now. I'll try to post some pics soon; I know I keep saying that, I just haven't had time to go through them yet.

I seriously need to take pictures!

Sorry I haven't posted since Sunday. I have been running all over the Bay Area, shopping, and watchings movies. I saw Batman Begins yesterday; awesome!I kept waiting for Batman to break out the chainsaw though, I still am traumatized from American Psycho, lol. My daughter and I are having fun and bonding. We had a very hot, European guy play with our nails yesterday, so I just had to buy the nail stuff. She gave me a great hand massage and manicure last night. I now have beautiful nails. :) I still have a week before I go back to work, and when I do go back I go back as a manager; I'm scared, but excited at the same time.
This is my final week of class, I have a paper to write, a final to finish and I'm editing and turning in the final paper for the team. Lots to do; I'm glad I took off work this week :) Gotta go get some of that homework done. Hopefully I'll have some photos soon.

She's here!

My baby is here! We are watching movies and eating pizza......

One more day!

Just one more day till I pick up my daughter. I'm really excited!!!
I haven't gotten much done so far. I have half a paper written, got the bathroom straightened up (oh...gotta make a space for her in there!), got some laundry done, and vacuuming. Today I have to get my papers finished and do dishes.

Was just thinking about the fact that I haven't updated (nor posted anything about) my website, Rhowan's Fantasy Castle
I've had that one up for about 6 years and haven't updated it in awhile. I miss the free time to play with that stuff, I miss making the graphics and chatting with my friends in the groups I was/am in. The website needs a serious update though.

The weather today is crappy. It looks like it is going to rain. Makes me want to make some more coffee and play Final Fantasy X
I'm currently playing FFX, again. I keep getting close to the end and realizing I missed stuff. It's a long, involved game, very fun!
I guess I should be getting back to my paper. 700 words about an article on workplace compensation, blah!