A Special Gift

Last year, in the wee hours of the morning on December 17, 2006 I went into labor. It was the day after my birthday. I knew that he would be coming soon and I thought I had worked out with him to wait until at least the 18th so that his big sister could be there when he was born. But he had other plans. The night of my birthday the nesting instinct hit hard and I had to have the apartment spotless. I was exhausted, but could not stop cleaning until everything was perfect. I even shined the mirrors. Around 9pm that night I declared the apartment perfect and went to bed. I couldn't sleep and decided to play on the computer for awhile. Aaron was supposed to be leaving around 7am to pick up Sara. I wanted Sara to be with me when her little brother was born. I wanted her to be a part of the experience. Around 5am I started feeling little cramping pains. I felt like maybe I was going into labor. I started timing the pains and they were definitely coming at a set time apart, but they didn't hurt, they were just like a little nudge to tell me something was going on. I told myself I was imagining it because I was worried about going into labor while Aaron was gone. He was suppose to leave at 7am and he would have been gone for 8 hours. At 6am I got back into bed. I hadn't really had any sleep yet, but my mind was racing and I just couldn't sleep. For the tenth time I told myself I was just panicking because Aaron was going to be leaving soon. Just before 6:30am my water broke, the doctor was called and we were on our way to the hospital to bring our son into the world. At 3:39pm on December 17th Baby G was born.



As a December baby myself I have always had to experience the "birthday/Christmas" gift all in one. Sometimes I was resentful because my sister's birthday is in August and she always got the separate gifts. I got over it as I got older and now it doesn't bother me so much.... All this to say that Baby G is the best Birthday/ Christmas gift I have ever received. He is such a happy baby. He has brought me so much joy, and I just can not believe how gosh darn lucky I am to have this beautiful, happy person in my life.



His first birthday is on Monday. I'm so busy right now I wanted to get this up while I had some free time. Tomorrow night, on my birthday, we will be having a party for him. For now here is a special slide show I put together celebrating his first year with us.

Cinco de Mayo Pedicures

So, last Saturday, the 5th, Aaron and I both had the time off to visit my sister. She only lives about an hour and a half away, but we usually have to time visits for when Aaron and I are both off of work because I don't drive. Anyway, we went to spend time with my Sis and nieces and celebrate Cinco de Mayo. How do you say "a great excuse to drink tequila and eat lots of cheese" without being offensive? I drank Mikes Hard Lemonade and ate lots of chips. Anyway, I was admiring my sister's pedicure. She exclaimed "A ha! I've been trying to figure out what to get you for Mother's Day. This is perfect! Wanna get one? Now?" Exclamation points were included. My sister is awesome!

So off we went to get pedicures. I wasn't expecting this; I wasn't prepared. I hadn't shaved my legs in about a month. I was mortified, so totally embarrassed. I've been through worse enbarrasment though, so I just tried to relax and enjoy the experience while trying really hard not to feel sorry for the girl that was rubbing down my hairy lower leg. It was my first professional pedicure, and I loved it. The results are beautiful:



Thanks Sis, for one of the best Mother's Day gifts ever!

I Do Not Want this Man to Go Back to Work

Last night I had this for dinner:


That sauce on the chicken he made himself. It was DELICIOUS. That dinner was made even better by Baby G whom I had to hold while eating.



He managed to do this:


I did get to eat the majority of that delicious food though.

Then this morning, I got this for breakfast:



Yeah, I think I'd like him to stay home a little while longer.

My StepMother is Dead Redux

Lots of personal family stuff going on in my life right now. My father, after 15 years, has decided that he wants a relationship again. Of course he doesn't want all the nasty stuff that goes along with that, like apologies and owning up to his wrongs. I won't go into everything that happened right now, but suffice it to say that he screwed up way beyond anything that any parent is allowed to screw up. My step-mother had the bigger part in all of it. She was the most evil person I have ever known. Her vindictiveness and my father's greed tore the family apart. I found out last night that on her death bed she was worried for her soul, as well she should have been. I swear I laughed harder than I have in a long time over that one. It's something she should have thought of before going around screwing people for fun and profit. Anyway, I thought I would repost the picture of the cake I baked in celebration of her passing last year.



We watched the Wizard of Oz and ate this cake.
I don't know if it's possible to ever forgive my father, but I certainly won't be forgetting and moving on as he would like.

[Update: I feel so much better now. Getting that off my chest this morning, and staying angry for the past couple of days helped my brain get stuff straight in my head. So did some talks with other family members. We are a happy family without him in it. It's sad, for sure, but that was his choice many years ago, and throughout the past 15 years he has had many chances to decide otherwise, he chose greed and power above his family. You can't take that back and make everyone forget how horribly you treated them.
Maybe one of these days I'll fill you all in on the details, I'm sure you're dying to know. Aaron says this could all be a Lifetime Original Movie and that I should write a memoir, or go to Oprah. All I want is for it to be over once and for all so I can move on with my life. Maybe I will write about it one day, but I'll wait for for my Father to be gone before then; I don't want him profiting even further from my pain. Anyway, thanks internets for letting me vent today]

What to Say?

I wanted to post something today, but really don't have much to say.
I just took a nice, long, hot bubble bath and started reading Eragon. I know, I'm way behind on the popular reading, there's just so much good stuff out there. The book is okay. As much as it's been hyped I was expecting more, but I'm only a couple chapters in so far, so we'll see.

Baby G is asleep on my chest. He's been fussy all day. Aaron is in the kitchen making carrot cake, and Back to the Future is playing in the background. As much as I complain you would think I'm really unhappy. In reality I think I have it pretty good.

Tough Times

I posted on Saturday that I had planned on posting an instructional post (it's not really instructional, just a neat project for the day.)Baby G was having some problems that morning, and I was worried about him, so I just blew everything off for the day. Since he's been sleeping through the night (he's up to eight hours now), we've all been having to make adjustments to our schedules and we're trying to figure out a new schedule for him. I no longer have the time in the morning that I used to have since Baby G is waking up earlier every day and Aaron doesn't wake me up until 8am (I was getting up at 5am). So, I've lost that free quiet time in the morning that I felt so darn lucky to have.

Yesterday was a very emotional day for me. My daughter turned 18! That just scares the heck out of me. She lives with her father, and he has had a very tight reign on her (military man), telling her that at 18 she can do whatever she wants. Well, this week she is going on a trip to Oregon with a friend for Spring Break. Mom. is. freaking. out.

Also, yesterday was the first time I spent time away from Baby G. Aaron arranged for babysitting and took me to a movie. When I walked out the door I cried, for just a minute. It was tough, but Aaron kept asking if I was okay the whole 4 hours we were out, which just made it a little harder. It was nice of him to be concerned though. We saw 300; not as great as I was hoping.

In two weeks I'll be back at work, so I have a lot of adjustments to make.
I'll try to get that project posted on Friday.

18

18 years ago today, I gave birth to this beautiful girl:



I'm so very proud! Happy Birthday Sweetie!

How the Mind of a Sleep Deprived Parent Works (or doesn't)

Aaron got up this morning as usual. He put the load of laundry I washed in the dryer, and played with Baby G for a few minutes then said he was going to take a shower. He took his shower, and afterwards, still wrapped in his towel, played on the computer while waiting for his clothes to dry, this was probably no more than 10 minutes.
When he was ready to to get his clothes from the dryer, he got up from the computer, and I sat down at the computer.

Aaron: I'm gonna go take a shower now.
Me: Okay.

We both look at eachother for a few seconds.

Me: Wait a minute, didn't you just take a shower?
Aaron (looking down at the towel wrapped around him): Did I?

IQ Matters?

I saw this nifty chart this morning on Digg.
* I have an IQ of 127
* I didn't graduate from High School. (I took the GED and left before graduation)
* I had a child at 19
* I work as a manager in retail (I was much happier before I was promoted)
* I divorced my first husband, and am in the process of divorcing my second and am engaged and have a child with my soon to be third (that is if I ever get my dang divorce finished)
* I've been on welfare twice in the past (many many years ago, and only to keep from being homeless)
* I'm 37 years old and haven't finished college yet.
For having an IQ on the higher end...ma vie suce! Or, my life sucks!
Of course that could have something to do with my parents telling me on a constant basis as a child that I suck and "will never be anything". So, I've had to spend the past 20 years unlearning that...could be why I am so far behind, and am only at where I should have been at 20; in a healthy relationship, in college and working.
Note to parents:
Please don't ever tell your kids that they suck or will never amount to anything; they really do take what you say seriously. Even when they screw up (and your kids are gonna screw up); give em a hug, show them how to get through it and move on.

Am I bitter much? Maybe a little still, but my life is mine now and I'm finally in a place where I can take responsibility for my own actions and how they affect me; that doesn't change the fact that the people responsible for helping me get the right start in life screwed up horrendously and left me to fix it by myself. Okay, I'll come down off my soapbox now....

Blog Template

I got a comment a couple days ago that was more a question than comment. I decided not to accept the comment, but instead just post about it so that I can answer as best I can for more than one person. I know from experience how frustrating it is to work with these templates. I'll try my best to answer the question. Essentially she wanted to know how I got my template posted. If I were to try to do the same thing again right now, I would have to start from scratch. I just spent the past 3 hours trying to figure out how to post my own template (as you can see it hasn't worked yet). I am great with the design aspect; put me in front of PhotoShop or PaintShop Pro, and I'll come up with some beautiful designs; I can even make a nice web site, but throw all those Blogger tags in and my brain goes dead. Really what you have to do, once you have your new template code, is to read through your current code to see where to copy and paste the code into. That is how I work it, just reading the code and copy and pasting where appropriate; also lots of previewing until I get it right.
She also wanted to know if putting up a new template would erase pictures and whatnot already on the blog. Well, if the picture is part of a post, in the main area, no; but you will want to save all your links and other postings from the nav bar, this will be erased and you will have to copy and paste what you want there again. The best thing to do is read the help files on the Blogger Dashboard. Hopefully this was helpful in some way.

In other news: My vacation is almost over. It started out great. I got to help my sis move into her new place and got to spend some great quality time with her and my nieces. It was a really nice weekend, and I am so happy to have her living so much closer. I've spent the past few days putting some order into my own place. Aaron and I have so much stuff in our little one bedroom apartment, it feels very congested and stifling. I've managed to keep the livingroom and kitchen clean for two whole days in a row, lol. We'll see what happens when I am back to the daily grind of work and school. I have not done much else. I feel like I need another week or two. I've been watching a lot of Digital Life TV with Aaron; cool show, I love Robert and Patrick. I still miss Tech TV.
What I have gathered from my week off from work is that I really love being at home, a lot. I love having the time to keep the place in order, I love having the time to myself, I love being free to do what I want when I want. If I could figure out how to go back to part-time work while supplementing my income with something online, I'd be a happy camper. First I'll have to figure out that CSS stuff.

I did it!

Well, got my Flickr account started and got pics of my funky xmas tree up over there on the side. My daughter and I were decorating, we didn't have enough lights, or ornaments, or anything else, and once we got the white stuff up and stood back, we died laughing. It looked like white trash xmas. SO the white stuff came off...

I've managed to get most of my homework done, now it's off to work on getting a new background up here.

Christmas...finally!

This will be the first Christmas I have celebrated in about 12 years. I've been in retail so long that I just grew to hate this time of year and stopped celebrating all-together. With my daughter here this year and my sister having just moved close by, we decided, why not? So this morning we are finally going out to get a tree, and because we have not celebrated in so long, we have no decorations, so we'll have to start from scratch. I am really happy to have my family with me this year, it makes a big difference. I'll see if I can get some pictures of the tree up, once we finish.